I was watching a late-night talk show recently. The guests were involved in a heated discussion and they all talked at the same time.
The host tried to lead the discussion, but the guests were so passionate about what they wanted to say that they just went on and on and on…. I switched to another channel.
This also happens in meetings. There is passionate debate and people are not really listening to each other. There is just an explosion of information, facts, opinions and beliefs. At the end of the meeting most attendees wonder….did we make any progress?
Do you know that there are 3 ways of listening?
Level 1: Listen to Speak
While others speak, we are already thinking about the next thing we want to say, how we want to reply. This is what happened in the talk show. It usually creates misunderstandings and often makes us to miss key information in conversations.
Level 2: Listen to Hear
While others speak, we are actively paying attention to what is said. We are totally focused on the other person and make sure we listen to everyone. This is great way to build rapport and trust.
Level 3: Listen to Understand
While others speak, we are not only paying attention to what others are saying, but also try to understand what they mean. People often do not specify underlying feelings or thoughts behind their words. In some cultures you are expected to “read between the lines” and simply “understand” what is meant. This does not come natural to everyone.
My simple tip is: repeat what the speaker has said as you understand it, and check if this is really what they meant. If not, they will explain it again. This approach builds trust and mutual understanding.
Applying these different listening techniques is extremely helpful when you are faced with communication and collaboration breakdowns in your team.
Give it a try this week to train your “level 3 listening muscle” and see what happens!
